When he decided to take a vacation from his busy schedule at Diddly Squat Farm, Jeremy Clarkson received more than he bargained for. Last month, the Grand Tour host packed his bags and travelled to the Seychelles in search of a relaxing holiday away from the drama revolving around his farm.
But while he was on the flight, he started to feel like something was wrong. Writing about it in his latest column for the Sunday Times, he reveals to fans the health issues he encountered on his holiday that led to him being “barely able to breathe”.
“I started to feel ill. Really ill.
“So ill that I declined the complimentary champagne.
“Seven hours later, bathed in sweat and barely able to breathe, I landed in Dubai, where I took my laptop out, again, and removed my shoes and watch, again, before setting off on the 200-mile trudge to the train that would take me to the A gates, where the flight to the Seychelles was due to depart.”
It was at this moment he started becoming worried that he’d caught COVID again.
“And all the while I knew I should not get on it. Because I was a walking biohazard.
“A WMD with legs. An international super-spreader.
“So, instead of going to the lounge, I went to a lavatory cubicle, where I used a pipe-cleaner to scrape brain matter from the far end of my nose and then some gunk from my tonsils, before inserting the lumps I’d collected in a phial of liquid.
“The results would take 15 minutes. And a lot was riding on them.”
He then began to worry about the implications of being stuck in a Dubai hotel if he was going to be forced to quarantine:
“That’s the thing about trying to go on holiday today: you don’t actually know you’re going, even when you’re nearly there.”
Thankfully, after taking a COVID test, he confirmed he wasn’t positive with COVID:
“Mercifully, however, the dreaded lat flow second line didn’t appear, which meant that four hours later, with a clear conscience, I landed in the Seychelles to find it was the middle of the (very) rainy season.”
This isn’t the first time Clarkson has had a brush with COVID. During the Christmas of 2020 he caught Covid from his partner’s son. He said the following at the time:
“I took myself off to bed with the new Don Winslow book and a bag of kale to wait for the Grim Reaper to pop his head round the door.
“I’m not going to lie – it was quite scary.”
Fortunately, he made a full recovery and continued to film for The Grand Tour soon after.