A recent column from Jeremy Clarkson talked readers through the moment a cow ruined his day after it left him with “smashed testicles” as he tried to force it into a shelter during a storm. But, long time rival Piers Morgan saw this column and couldn’t resist taking a crack at the Grand Tour presenter.
Morgan shared the column to his Twitter account in front of his almost 8 million followers. “Jeremy Clarkson reveals he suffered ‘smashed testicles'” the article read. Piers hilariously added the following: “Is it too late to give that cow a New Year honour?”
Despite this being an obvious joke after the two presenters settled their differences during an episode of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, a number of fans responded angrily to the tweet.
One fan of Jeremy wrote: “To be fair to Clarkson, he’s done more for farming within the UK than anyone in the last few years. What have you done of note for this country, Piers?”
“Piers Morgan you are naughty. #BeKind you know as a man yourself..that must have hurt like hell.
“Not a fan of Jeremy Clarkson but that is a horrible thing to happen to anyone… l hope he gets better soon.”
A third also joined in:
“He might have smashed testicles but you’ll always look like one. Leave Clarkson alone!”
Some fans, fortunately, saw the humour in the post, adding their own puns to the mix:
“Some might say the cow udderly deserves an honour,” one wrote.
“Maybe promote it to cow-mander-in-beef, head of the nations Farmed Services.”
Jeremy explained what led to this moment in his column for the Sunday Times: “I had a plastic bag full of cow treats, which I rattled to let the beasts know that food was in the offing, but as they’re pasture-fed, they had no interest in my nutty snacks.
“One of them, though, did have an interest in killing me.
“It’s said a cow cannot kick backwards but I can testify to the fact that this isn’t true.
“A cow can kick in any direction. They are like Bruce Lee, only more deadly and determined because, having failed to connect with her hoofs, she went for another tack – putting her head between my legs and then raising it smartly.
“This worked well and immediately I was on my knees in the mud with crossed eyes, trying to push the cow away.
“This, it turns out, is impossible. It’s like trying to push Westminster Abbey.”
Jeremy admitted that this incident was the lowest point of his farming career. Hopefully, we’ll get to see more soon after Clarkson’s Farm was confirmed for a second series this year.