Jeremy Clarkson has revealed to fans that he was attacked by one of his very own cows at Diddly Squat Farm while herding them into a new barn on the property. The Clarkson’s Farm presenter tells us that this was his “lowest point” so far.
As his animals fought against being pushed into the £175,000 barn, the weather became yet another issue to fight against as Storm Barra hit his farm. The Grand Tour presenter was pelted by “rain that hurt”, and this culmination prompted Jeremy to write a column on this difficult day.
With 80mph winds and a temperature of just one degree Celcius, a single cow of the herd targetting Jeremy as he was pushing them inside the barn. Jeremy, who once believed that animals couldn’t kick backwards, is now a firm believer that they most certainly can. “This isn’t true,” he wrote.
“They are like Bruce Lee, only more deadly and determined because, having failed to connect with her hoofs, she went for another tack, putting her head between my legs and then raising it smartly.
“Immediately I was on my knees in the mud with crossed eyes, trying to push the cow away.
“I think this was the lowest point in my farming career to date,” the ex-Top Gear presenter penned.
“Being attacked by a cow while on my knees, in the mud, in a storm, with smashed testicles.”
He continued to write that he was “miserable”, wondering why he really was raising these cows.
He wrote for The Sunday Times:
“And all so I can make beef for a restaurant that I probably won’t be allowed to open.
“… Happily, though, the attack cow eventually grew tired of trying to kill me and decided, for no reason that I could see, to walk calmly through the gate and on to the track.”
Even after the majority of the cows had made their way into the barn, one remained adamant to stay outside in the dark. Jeremy spent an hour looking for it, but eventually gave up. Fortunately, the cow made its way back to its field by itself.
Only weeks ago, Jeremy was taken to A&E after he sliced off part of his thumb while making chili crisps fom potatoes. These were to be sold at Diddly Squat Farm Shop, but instead resulted in searing pain as the chili seeped into the injury.
He posted to Instagram about his injury: