10 Times Jeremy Clarkson Didn’t Hold Back on His Motorcycle Hate
Jeremy Clarkson is renowned for his outspoken views on all things motoring, but few topics draw his ire quite like motorcycles. Over the years, Clarkson has repeatedly voiced his disdain for two-wheeled machines across television, print, and social media, often blending humor with genuine criticism. Here are 10 fact-checked moments where Clarkson made his dislike for motorcycles unmistakably clear, with details on where and when he aired his opinions.
1. The Silverstone Incident – BIKE Magazine, Mid-1990s
Clarkson recounted in a BIKE magazine interview that his first attempt at riding a motorcycle ended in disaster at Silverstone in the mid-1990s. He rode just 100 yards before crashing into a metal railing, an experience he described as “properly hurtful.” This incident, he said, cemented his decision to stick to cars and avoid bikes altogether.
2. “I Hate Motorbikes” Routine – BIKE Magazine, 2000s
In a candid BIKE magazine piece, Clarkson openly stated, “I hate motorbikes,” citing reasons ranging from their high-pitched sound to their aesthetics. He admitted he was never around bikes as a child and simply never developed any interest, further fueling his on-air and print antagonism toward motorcycles.
3. Top Gear: Cars vs. Bikes – BBC, Early 2000s
On Top Gear, Clarkson frequently pitted cars against motorcycles in head-to-head challenges, such as a Porsche 996 Carrera 4 versus a Yamaha R1 and an Ariel Atom against a Honda CBR600RR. In both cases, he ensured the cars outperformed the bikes, using the results to mock motorcycles as “second-rate” forms of travel.
4. “If My Kids Buy a Bike, I’ll Burn It” – Top Gear Vietnam Special, 2008
During the Top Gear Vietnam Special, Clarkson famously declared, “I’ve always said to my children that if they buy a bike I will burn it, and if they replace it with another one, I shall burn that too. Now, however, if they buy a bike, I will completely understand… and then I’ll burn it.” This tongue-in-cheek threat aired on BBC and has been widely quoted since.
5. Newspaper Columns and Books – The Sun & Motormouth, 2000s–2010s
Clarkson has used his newspaper columns and books, such as Motormouth, to lampoon motorcycles and cyclists. In one column, he wrote a list of “handy hints” for cyclists, including, “Do not cruise through red lights. Because if I’m coming the other way, I will run you down, for fun.” His satirical advice consistently reinforces his anti-bike stance.
6. “Motorcycles Are Ugly” – BIKE Magazine, 2000s
When asked by BIKE magazine why he disliked bikes, Clarkson said he found them ugly, complaining about “too many parts sticking out” and a lack of aesthetic appeal compared to cars. He argued that motorcycle design exposes too much of the mechanical “ugly bits,” unlike the clean lines of cars.
7. “I Can’t Ride a Bike” – Top Gear Vietnam Special, 2008
In the Vietnam Special, Clarkson repeatedly protested, “I can’t ride a bike,” and bumbled through learning to ride a scooter, much to the amusement of his co-hosts and viewers. His discomfort and complaints throughout the episode became a running joke and further highlighted his aversion to motorcycles.
8. “Bikes Are for People Who Want to Die” – Newspaper Columns, 2010s
In several print columns, Clarkson has described motorcycles as inherently dangerous, once writing that “bikes are for people who want to die.” He often references the risks and lack of protection compared to cars, using these arguments to justify his dislike.
9. “They All Look the Same” – Interviews and Print, 2010s
Clarkson has dismissed motorcycles as boring and lacking individuality, stating in interviews and print articles that “they all look the same.” He contrasts this with his love for cars, which he believes have more character and variety.
10. Social Media Taunts – Twitter & DriveTribe, 2016–2020
Clarkson has continued his anti-motorcycle rhetoric on social media platforms like Twitter and DriveTribe, often posting jokes or memes at the expense of bikers. In one notable tweet, he simply wrote, “Why I hate Motorcycles,” linking to a longer rant and sparking widespread discussion among fans and detractors alike.
Conclusion
Jeremy Clarkson’s aversion to motorcycles is a recurring theme throughout his career, expressed across television, print, and digital platforms. Whether rooted in personal experience, tongue-in-cheek humor, or genuine criticism, his remarks have sparked debate among fans and bikers alike. These ten moments illustrate just how consistently—and creatively—Clarkson has aired his dislike for two-wheeled machines over the years.
