Top Gear

10 Unforgettable Jeremy Clarkson Quotes That Every Petrolhead Needs to Hear

Jeremy Clarkson, a name synonymous with motoring enthusiasm and unfiltered opinions, has made a lasting impression on the automotive world with his unforgettable quips and insights. In this listicle, we’ve gathered some of his most iconic quotes that illustrate his unique perspective on cars and driving. From viewing vehicles as companions to critiquing their quirks with humor and candor, Clarkson’s words resonate with petrolheads who share his fervor for the open road.


10. “You’re a car, but most of all, what you are, what you’ve become, is a mate. And that’s what makes a car special. That’s what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it.”

Few capture the deep connection between driver and machine like Jeremy Clarkson. This quote perfectly encapsulates how petrolheads view their cars—as beloved companions, not just mechanical objects. Clarkson’s reflections remind us why true enthusiasts form emotional bonds with their rides, seeing them as mates rather than mere transport.

9. “It couldn’t pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.”

black porsche 911 parked in garage
Photo by Philipp Katzenberger

When reviewing the underwhelming Porsche Boxster, Clarkson didn’t hold back with this colorful metaphor to describe its lack of power. The quote perfectly encapsulates his talent for vivid, outrageous comparisons that have made him a legend among automotive journalists and petrolheads worldwide.

8. “No, no, no. There’s no such thing as cheap and cheerful. It’s cheap and nasty & expensive and cheerful.”

Source: topgear.com

Clarkson’s blunt observation cuts through marketing hype, reminding petrol heads that real automotive joy costs money. Whether applied to bargain cars or budget mods, this quote champions quality over false economy, capturing his unapologetic approach to both life and motoring adventures.

7. “Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear”

Clarkson’s perfect metaphor about TVR ownership captures both the thrill and peril of these British sports cars. With their raw power and notoriously unpredictable handling, TVRs offered an exhilarating driving experience—right up until they tried to kill you. As Clarkson noted, it was only a matter of time before they would. Despite their reputation, enthusiasts still cherish these beasts for their pure, unfiltered driving experience.

6. “Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”

This classic Clarkson jab at the Toyota Camry sums up his playful disdain for cars that prioritize reliability over excitement. For petrolheads, it’s a reminder that true automotive passion isn’t about bland efficiency but about heart-pounding performance—even if it means missing out on sleep.

5. “Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what… being stabbed?”

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

Clarkson’s review of the Koenigsegg CCX, a Swedish supercar famed for its raw speed and uncompromising driving experience, delivered this biting line. His quip underlined how, even among hypercars, the CCX’s comfort fell short of expectations—unless you compare it to physical harm!

4. “I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.”

Source: Wikipedia.com

This iconic Clarkson quote perfectly captures his passion for driving beautiful cars rather than just owning them. The colorful comparison emphasizes that luxury vehicles like the DB9 are meant to be experienced, not just displayed. Clarkson delivered this memorable line during a Top Gear episode, cementing his reputation for unfiltered automotive enthusiasm.

3. “I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.”

Clarkson’s iconic comparison perfectly captures the reverence petrolheads hold for Ferrari. By equating the Italian marque to a “scaled down version of God,” he elevates the brand beyond mere machines—making it legendary, awe-inspiring, and almost divine for any car enthusiast.

2. “Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that’s what gets you.”

This legendary quote captures Clarkson’s dark humor and deep reverence for the dangers of driving fast. He reminds petrol heads that it’s not speed itself, but abrupt stops—often from crashes—that cause harm, making a pointed statement about risk and adrenaline behind the wheel.

1. “Power!”

Jeremy Clarkson’s most iconic catchphrase resonates with every car enthusiast. Often shouted exuberantly while pushing vehicles to their limits, this single word encapsulates his love for horsepower and speed. Though his blind devotion to power frequently landed him in trouble on the shows, it perfectly represents the thrill-seeking spirit that defines true petrol heads everywhere.

Conclusion:

Source: Top Gear YouTube channel

Through his colorful metaphors and unapologetic passion, Jeremy Clarkson has captured the hearts of car enthusiasts around the globe. His quotes not only entertain but also remind us of the joy, thrill, and sometimes the absurdity of the automotive world. Whether he’s extolling the divine nature of Ferrari or lamenting the mundane reliability of a Camry, Clarkson’s insights continue to inspire and amuse those who share his love for cars. In embracing the spirit of ‘Power!’, we celebrate his enduring legacy in automotive journalism.

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