The Grand Tour

Jeremy Clarkson Gives Hilarious Update On What His Testicles Smell Like At Clarkson’s Farm

If you got to the end of Clarkson’s Farm [spoilers], it turned out Jeremy Clarkson didn’t make a lot of money from his first year of farming. In fact, he barely reached £200 due to a number of issues he had throughout the year such as poor weather and the effects of the pandemic. So, in order to bring in more revenue, he built Diddly Squat Farm shop where he’d sell local produce.

On top of this, he started his own line of Diddly Squat merchandise, with an example of this being a candle called ‘This Smells Like My Bollocks’. It was a joke product that followed the fame of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop candle, ‘Smells Like My Vagina’, which made headlines on its release.

But Jeremy has now released an update on his candle, and surprisingly, his own testicles, in a poster at Diddly Squat Farm.

The notification was keen to confirm to potential customers that the candle didn’t actually smell like the presenter’s testicles:

“The candles we sell here don’t really smell like my bollocks,” wrote Jeremy on the update. “They smell more like the inside of a Mark X Jaguar.

“It’s a leather scent with a hint of walnut.

“My bollocks actually smell of dew on a Spring morning”, he admits.

This news comes just after it was revealed that swingers have been frequenting the farm. A source told The Daily Star the following:

“[It’s a] massive trend in the swinging community to add extra kicks to meets by arranging them on celebrity land.

“Because Jeremy is so outspoken, a lot of them are saying what a laugh it would be to hear what he would say if he caught them at it.”

Jeremy Clarkson stood next to Lisa Hogan

According to The Daily Star, users on a member’s only site said the following about the farm:

“Sneaked into Clarkson’s farm the other week and did it on a tractor. Looking for local couples or single fems to join us,” The Daily Star confirms a user to say.

“I’m up for a meet and I’m a local to you. The security at this farm is Diddly Squat (see what I did there?) So I’d love to join you guys,” another responded.

Maybe they really, really enjoyed the candle?

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