The Grand Tour

Jeremy Clarkson Destroys Cycling In Latest DriveTribe Video

This weekend has brought us a video of The Grand Tour presenter Jeremy Clarkson sipping tea in Holland Park in London. But while he’s sipping on his tea, he discusses the importance of cycle lanes that plague the capital city for better or for worse.

Holland Park is the most beautiful place in London due to the trees according to Clarkson, but these trees were almost torn down to make space for cycle lanes.

“These are trees that the mayor of London wanted to pull down, to make way for a cycle lane. Well he can F**k off,” Jeremy explains. “The man is deranged!”

He goes on to explain how he just drove into London on the A40, but due to the council taking one of the lanes away for a cycle lane, there was “a massive traffic jam resulting from it, and stuck in it is an ambulance”.

“Someone is dying of a heart attack somewhere up in Acton,” Jeremy continues. “Ambulance can’t get there!

“We live in absurd times. Absurd!”

He continues his rant to the camera explaining that no one wants to ride a bike in the Summer. You get sweaty and you smell, and no one wants to do that. If you do, then, according to Jeremy, you contribute nothing to the economy “because of the smell from your armpit”. And while this is an exaggeration from Jeremy to spark controversy and to have a bit of fun, he ends with a serious point.

> Clarkson cycles during The Grand Tour Season 4 filming – read here

Where do cyclists get the energy to ride? Well, when you finish your ride and tuck into your imported avocado to replenish your energy, you’re hurting the environment. That avocado has been on a plane from Chile, Peru, or the Dominican Republic. Of course, this again is a tad exaggeration from Clarkson as the comparison doesn’t quite add up, but you can see where he’s coming from.

But his definitive point is, are cycle lanes future proof? London is set to ban private vehicles in 11 years’ time. “So why spend £42million of our money on something that you say you aren’t going to need? They can all f**k off.”

Alex Harrington

Alex started racing at a young age so certainly knows his way around a car and a track. He can just about put a sentence together too, which helps. He has a great interest in the latest models, but would throw all of his money at a rusty old French classic and a 300ZX. Contact: [email protected]

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  1. Cyclists should not ride where there are cars, ie , roads. It is dangerous. Cycling is a hobby, like shooting or kicking a ball. Nobody is suggesting we have a special lane for that on every road in London. Basically there are only two sensible modes of transport in a city. Driving and walking. Everything else is selfish.

  2. Jeremy, PLEASE Run for Office!

    And, remember that study about 99% of scientists agreeing on climate change being real was done using a BS methodology.

  3. They should introduce a congestion charge for cyclists to pay for they’re cycle lane…. or f@#k off and walk to work.

  4. Entertaining rant but I disagree. We have to start accepting that changes to our lifestyle will be necessary in order to take care of the planet. And you’re right, we don’t have all the answers and the advice will keep changing until we have worked out the solution. We’re so far from where we need to be to live sustainably in this planet. At least the youngsters are seeing the need for action.

  5. Also we have to pass a test to drive a car,mortorbike,lorry,bus etc and pay road tax and insurance so why the hell is it not the same of push bikes? Most of them have no clue about road safety yet with there go pro strap on think they own the road and post every movement on youtube getting 15 mins of fame thinking they know better!! Yes build a cycle lane from London to Beachy Head and right off the top of it !! now that would be millions well spent.

  6. Forget cycle lanes, if a cyclist can’t use a road like everyone used to do then they should be cycling. Has anyone ever seen cyclist being stopped by police for riding 2 or more a breast? Probably not, but there is a law against it. I ran one over once. He came out the wrong way from a one way street on a roundabout cut straight in front of me from the left and after the police reviewed the camera footage they said it was my fault, how the fuck did they father that, or are cyclists now excused from the Highway Code?
    Why don’t they spend that £42 million to help clear the oceans of plastic and help reforest parts of the world so our engine emissions feed the planet like Richard Hammonds moving hedgerow in that episode of The Grand Tour?

  7. I live in canada and we have to swerve around the cyclists because the law states that we have to pass at minimum 1,5 metre from the bike, so we have to hit incoming trafic to save the bikes

  8. We see the same thing here in the US, massive amounts of money being spent to build infrastructure as an accommodation for cyclists. I live in the Chicago area and I can assure you that in the depths of winter, very few in anyone is out cycling to the degree necessary to justify the expenditures. If they were motor vehicles, they would be paying fees for these improvements. May I suggest that they assign user fees (tolls), and require annual registration and inspection fees/taxes based on the number of users versus the cost to build these dedicated lanes. Once you truly know and understand what these lovely accommodations cost YOU, then you may decide that cycling on shoulder is fine enough or better yet, that a car is far more convenient.

  9. I am not sure how busy this stretch of London is, however if 1,000 cyclist use this per day for 10 years that would put the cost at £11.50 every time someone went by. This is also not counting lost interest/cost of maintenance. Total Crap!

  10. He is spot on, why don’t they spend time and money on things that will make a difference for the better, not just PC shite that makes no common sense but makes them look as if they care about the planet and gives them a sense of well being so they can sleep easy at night for receiving an astronomical salary for no apparant reason.

  11. I agree. We need the trees a d if it’s causing traffic jams that’s just more pollution. I’m all for the environment but don’t kill the environment to make it happen. I’m sure there are other places to put a cycle lane.

  12. Gotta say he’s not wrong and come on its Jeremy Clarkson. Why would anyone try to debate against facts with emotion?

  13. I agree it getting completely out of hand.We are spending vast amount of money for little cycle lane that suddenly stop in the town.We are now going on about the carbon footprint with flying.If everyone holidays at home the seaside towns will not be able to cope and resort aboard will close as they depended on tourist resulting in mass unemployment and stress levels will rise because no one going on holiday

  14. Could not agree more. Our city, Long Beach, California, has been spending millions of dollars putting in more bike lanes in what they call a “Road Diet”. It’s been a disaster. I will be sharing this video hoping our city council members will see it and come to their senses. Highly unlikely.

  15. I agree with what’s been said but I’d also like to mention that cyclists aren’t environmentally friendly because when if you remove the cyclists from the road the traffic will driving at a steady speed. Put a cyclist on the road then traffic builds up, people accelerating and slowing down uses more fuel than if they just drove at a steady speed so in actual fact they are doing more harm than good. The way they would do good is if they get rid of cars. I am a cyclist too but I tend to stay off the roads and when I’m using the roads I have a helmet on, don’t have EarPods on, and I’m aware of what’s happening around me and I stop at red lights !

  16. Totally agree with you. And esp the bit about building the cycle lane. They all supposed to b going environmently friendly think of all the equipment they will use polluting. This government needs to wake up and listen to you. Jeremy for prime minister

  17. Bravo! Said what we all (99.9%) of us think!
    Ever thought of running for the Prime Ministers job? I’ll throw you the first vote!!

  18. The average car produces around six tons of carbon dioxide gas every year. Trees need carbon dioxide to produce oxygen. By a V8 and park up against a tree and rev the hell out of it and make a tree hugger happy. Cyclists are prone to constant farting which can consist of up to 90% nitrogen which is extremely harmful to the rest of us and does nothing to feed the poor trees. So that is clear, buy a V8 to save the planet and buy a butt plug for the cyclist to save yourself.

  19. Dear Mr C ,
    Your thoughts are logical , factual and sadly true .
    Wake up world !!

  20. I couldn’t agree more , these f*****s belong in a f***ing cave with no electricity, no gas, no refrigeration, no plumbing let’s see how long they last..
    I could go on what’s the use…..
    I’ll hurt their feelings…

  21. I totally agree with you, f**k them all, do gooders who have no grasp on reality and love scaremongering and fake news.

  22. Is London really going to ban all cars in 11 years? And if so, how the he’ll do they think people are going to get around?

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