The Grand Tour

Jeremy Clarkson Reviews The Bugatti Chiron

This is it, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Jeremy Clarkson finally gets behind the wheel of the mighty Bugatti Chiron and tell us his thoughts on the successor the Veyron. It’s been approximately 12 years between Jeremy’s Veyron review and this one!

The Chiron is finally available for 2.5 million pounds, and it is outfitted with the same 8 liter, quad turbo W16 engine that the Veyron had. It has 1,479 BHP for a limited top speed of 261 MPH (unrestricted, it might hit 280 MPH), and only 500 of them were built.

Holy moly.

Last week, Jeremy got to drive the Chiron from St. Tropez to Turin, which gave him ample time to get to know the Chiron and find out just exactly what it is capable of.

“There is nothing made by any mainstream car maker that could hold a candle to the Chiron. A McLaren P1 doesn’t even get close. It’s like comparing me as a drummer with Ginger Baker.”

At one point, Jeremy came across what sounded like a targa rally of some sort, filled with Audi R8s and Aston Martin DB11s. He sped off, and mused:

“And even from half a mile in front, which is where I ended up after mere seconds, I could feel their penises shrinking in disbelief and embarrassment.”

Jeremy even had a chance to knock Richard Hammond for a bit when talking about how incredibly easy it was to handle the Chiron through the corners:

“But it’s never difficult. Oh, I’m sure Richard Hammond could roll it down a hill, but for the rest of us it’s a doddle. “

Despite the fact that the Chiron isn’t a particularly smooth ride, and you can fit virtually nothing into the boot, Jeremy was still wholly impressed…as I’m sure any of us would be whether we like the Chiron or not.

“And that’s what this car is all about. It’s not driving pleasure. It’s not aesthetics. It’s just man looking at nature, rolling up his sleeves and saying: “Do you want some?”

This car doesn’t challenge the laws of physics. It bludgeons them. It is an engineering marvel, because like all other engineering marvels it’s an affront to God. It’s also an affront to Friends of the Earth, Greenpeace and all the other Jeremy Corbyn enthusiasts who say it’s time to put away our toys and live more responsibly. We have to love it for that, too, and applaud Volkswagen for saying: ‘Not just yet, beardy.’ “

Tony Hsieh

Cars, the Buffalo Bills, video games, comics, sandwiches, jelly beans, and the shooting star press; these are the things that Tony loves (in addition to his family, of course). When he's not spending his time writing tech reviews for, Tony puts his lifetime love of muscle cars to use on his 2015 Mustang GT. Tony's top three favorite cars are the 1973 Mustang Mach 1, Ferrari 458, and Aston Martin DBS.

Related Articles

Back to top button