The Grand Tour

Jeremy Clarkson Questions His Mortality As He Talks Health Issues: “I Have 15 Years Left”

Jeremy Clarkson has been on our screens and in our newspapers for what seems like an eternity. And he has, and will always be, one of the most prolific writers of our time. But with him getting older, he’s beginning to question just how long this can continue for.

Jeremy, who is 61-years-old, has admitted that he’s always been a reader of the obituary section of The Times newspaper. But he’s now realised that most people on it are dying around the age of 75.

“This means I have 15 years left, and that’s plenty,” he explained before questioning what he’s to do with his time before that.

Jeremy Clarkson stood next to Lisa Hogan

He begins by jokingly questioning becoming a kickboxing champion, or maybe trying a new sport that he hasn’t done before like water skiing. But, he admits, some parts of his body aren’t working quite as well as they used to, so those ideas are shelved for now.

“My knees give me no confidence when I’m coming down a flight of stairs,” he writes for The Times.

“My back locks solid if I attempt to walk up a hill. My lungs feel as if they’re on fire if I even look at a bicycle, and when I go for a swim it feels as though I have a small car on my back.”

He continues:

“It saddens me to think that I have now dived off a boat for the very last time, and been down my last black run.

“I may never see the dawn again, either, unless I have to get up early for another annoying stagger to the loo.”

He goes on to add that a hip operation might be coming in the future, but despite all of these reasons to, he will not be giving up his career. He’s even thinking about writing a fiction book.

“But what’s the point of starting one now? I’ll only get arthritis halfway through and be unable to type,” he remarks.

Adding to the questionable future of The Grand Tour, he also adds that he’s not interested in long-haul flights anymore.

“I’ll just go to Cornwall instead.”

In the midst of this bad news, however, he properly reveals that he will be opening a restaurant at Diddly Squat Farm, asking readers of his column for ideas on what he could create from his farming produce.

“I see a kitchen full of pies and gravy and wipe-down chairs, with Bad Company playing,” he writes.

We’ll likely see the ideation of the restaurant on the next series of Clarkson’s Farm, which is looking to be released next year on Amazon Prime Video. We’ll also see a host of new livestock, more farming from Kaleb, and a battle with the local council over the popularity.

He’s even had a warning from the local police force, with a Thames Valley Police official releasing the following statement:

“If this application has been made in anticipation of a future change of use application, there is potential for disruption in terms of highway safety and for a demand on policing being generated by the site,” a Thames Valley Police official says in the missive to West Oxfordshire district council.

“I strongly encourage the applicant to consult with me in the event that this agricultural building is considered for commercial use.”

Related Articles

One Comment

Back to top button