Jeremy Clarkson has been enjoying his life as a farmer in the Cotswolds as his Diddly Squat Farm empire quickly grows after his success with Amazon Prime Video show Clarkson’s Farm. Moving from the city, he’s had to adapt a lot to his new life in the countryside, but now admits he’s been struggling, specifically with online shopping.
Clarkson’s Farm has now become a full-time career for the Grand Tour presenter, who attends to his farm almost every day. And while he’s annoyed many of his neighbors with increased traffic and building, he admits that now he’s getting annoyed with online shopping, which he’s revealed in his latest column.
It began with Jeremy trying to order art from a gallery in Cornwall, but he wasn’t able to do this after the gallery asked him for too many details:
“Immediately I got a message on the screen saying that I’d sent ‘an invalid source object’ and that it must be ‘a dictionary or a non-empty string’. What does that even mean?
“Worse was to come, however, when I attempted to buy a case of wine from Berry Bros, because after a diligent hour or so of choosing what I’d like and where it needed to go to and then inputting my address and my mother’s maiden name and the reason for my first dog’s death, I found the order wouldn’t go through.
“So I pressed ‘Submit’ again. And then again and again and again until finally it sent a message saying that 640 bottles were on their way.”
He then admitted that on trying to buy his girlfriend Lisa Hogan a “stocking filler”, he’d found out he was blocked from the site he was trying to access.
Jeremy wrote: “I decided, therefore, to begin with women’s fashion, so I visited a site called Net-a-Porter, which, it turns out, sells every single garment ever invented.
“I’m not sure but I reckon there were at least 40,000 jumpers.
“And I couldn’t look at half of them because, for reasons that aren’t clear, my Wi-Fi has self-installed some kind of filter that blocks any site that contains flesh.
“For the same reason, I was unable to buy Lisa any stocking-fillers from Lovehoney,” he added jokingly.
Jeremy didn’t want to travel to London because of the potential danger of COVID from the omicron variant that’s quickly growing in the capital. But he was very happy to find out that his daughter had bought him a classic Mini for Christmas.
He posted a photo of the car to his Instagram account with the caption:
“Look what my mad, brilliant and stupidly generous daughter has bought me for Christmas.”