Clarkson's Farm

Jeremy Clarkson On Diddly Squat Theft: “Police Aren’t Investigating.”

Painting a grim picture of the future with his words in his column in The Sun, Jeremy Clarkson reveals what happened at the Diddly Squat Farm Shop when two men entered the store to steal items and liquor worth around £150. Despite a police investigation, no arrests have been made yet.

Clarkson thinks they aren’t investigating the matter because he’s unsure if shoplifting is even considered to be a crime nowadays. He recalls a time when teenage boys were embarrassed to carry a copy of Men Only to the till but today, people end up on Oxford Street and do what they feel like. Adding to the problem is the police force that can’t run fast enough and is ever occupied with health and safety equipment. Clarkson wrote:

“THIS week, two burly looking gentlemen from Eastern Europe arrived in my farm shop.

“And while one of them engaged the girl on the till with general chit chat, the other wandered around, slipping various items into his jacket pocket.

“Police, it’s said, are investigating.

“But they probably aren’t, because I’m not sure shoplifting is even considered to be a crime these days.

“There was a time when it was the preserve of teenage boys who were too embarrassed to take a copy of Men Only to the till.

“Now, though, people are encouraged on social media to descend on London’s Oxford Street and help themselves to whatever takes their fancy. ‘Don’t come if you can’t run,’ say the adverts.

“But they don’t need to run because today the average policeman and policewoman is so weighed down by health and safety equipment and high-visibility clobber, they couldn’t keep up with an earthworm. Or even a Somalian 100m lady sprinter.”

Stating further, Clarkson makes a mockery of the law and order situation. He explains how shoplifting has been decriminalized in California and fears the repercussions if something similar were to happen in the UK. As for the police, they’d just go on issuing a ticket to someone who’s driven in a cycle lane. He wrote:

“In California, it’s even worse. Shoplifting has essentially been decriminalised so that now, you simply ride into the supermarket on your bicycle, take what you want and then ride out again.

“Paying is considered weird.

“I wonder what will happen when we reach that sort of level here.

“When large numbers of people simply pay no attention to the laws of the land.

“When shoplifting is the norm. When pubs burn down and get demolished before anyone has a chance to even say “arson”, and everyone’s bicycle is nicked, and every Range Rover.

“And nothing is ever investigated by the police because they’re either standing around watching people with pink hair who’ve glued themselves to the road or they are issuing a ticket to someone who’s driven in a cycle lane.

“It’s a terrifying vision of the future that doesn’t bear thinking about.”

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